It has been a generally disappointing summer. Arranging my own music turned out to be much more difficult and time consuming than I had anticipated. I had less than 2 songs completed when I had to travel to Virginia to visit my parents and girlfriend, and attend my sisters wedding. By the time I had returned to Ohio, other projects took precedents and my arrangements fell by the wayside.
Without the contacts I had planned to make at churches, finding students to teach has been most difficult. I called all of the local music or drum stores to see if any were interested in hiring me as a teacher, but the summer is not a good time to get teaching jobs, as students are rare and irregular. My money was starting to run out. I am starting to panic. I decided not to compete in the ASO competition to save money.
The most horrifying happening was when Kohl's seemed to have no interest in hiring me back (after having nearly a year and a half experience). I started applying everywhere I could think of: restaurants, retail stores, gas stations, hotels... I applied for every job listing I could find online. None of them seemed to be interested in hiring me. My money had run out. There was nothing for it. I had to call my parents.
I gathered my resolve and swallowed my pride. Near tears, I called my mother to ask for this month's rent. I felt like a failure as an adult. I could not provide for my own needs. My parents sent much more money than I had requested allowing me to stock up on some groceries and put some gas in my car. I have some pretty awesome parents.
Another month went by, with no more luck on the job front. I started to buy things garage sales and sell them on eBay. I made a fair profit margin, but risked so little that it didn't make much of a difference in my situation. eBay eventually put a hold on my account for unpaid fees; I had used all my profits to pay my rent. I started to get a little depressed. It became hard for me to practice for more than a couple hours a day. Every moment that was not spent watching Star Trek with my girlfriend I brooded over my situation. I remember thinking that my financial position was almost as poor as was possible. I have $10 to my name and no job prospects.
Today is Sunday, so I called my parents. My mother answered and we talked. She is sending more money tomorrow. She also told me about the mission trip that she and my father went on to Kentucky. They helped with a number of evangelical and poverty relief projects. She told me about a man who was living alone with his three daughters (all three under 4 years old). They did not have indoor plumbing. They did not even have a completed outhouse because they ran out of wood before it could be completed. In a town with over 40% unemployment he was lucky enough to have a job, but was not able to work many hours because he had to take care of his kids (their mother was institutionalized). This man had been saving every penny he could to get the $850 necessary to get a water line built to his house, but expenses did not relent and he found himself unable to do so. Luckily the mission group was able to pay for his water line, provide some child care, give him and his children new clothes and essential household appliances (like a refrigerator and microwave).
As I listened to this I was struck with how amazingly blessed I am. I may not have a job right now, but my graduate assistantship stipend begins again with the new school year. I have loving parents who are able and willing to pay for my rent even though it is a significant sacrifice on their part. I have a nice apartment with wonderful facilities and two roommates who pay their share of the bills. Heck, I even have high speed Internet, yet I have been brooding and complaining about my hardships all summer. I have nothing to complain about.
The Lord has given me everything I need, though not everything I want. It amazes me how ungrateful we can be when everything does not go our way. I testify today that God is Good. He would still be good if I won the Internet lottery (that I play every day), and he would still be good if I was in such a hopeless situation as the man in KY. Every Day we are alive is a gift, and an opportunity.
